track 02 - hound of heav'n

The meaning

I wrote this song when I came across a poem called “The Hound of Heaven” by Francis Thompson. (1859-1907) It first appeared in a collection of poems Francis published in 1893.

It is such a raw poem and knowing its background only adds to an image of this God who pursues like a hound dog, but far from the desire to rip its prey to shreds, He is simply ever following, pursuing and pursuing out of love.

Francis had a hard life eventually becoming an addict due to neuralgia and you can see in this line (my favourite)

For, though I knew His love Who followèd, Yet was I sore adread, Lest, having Him, I must have naught beside

Francis knows what he has to let go of to follow God, but the thought of it fills him with dread. It is a thought we all battle with. I believe in God and follow Him but I am constantly fighting the urge to replace him and then finding myself howling over the useless thing I must give up to have Him.

But then that line “all things betray thee who betrayest me.” - Nothing, no career, no person, no amount of passion, no music, no film, no craft will be truly loyal to you and the things we cling to instead of God will only ever betray us in the end.

The poem reminded me of a favourite quote of mine by C S Lewis who called himself “the most dejected, reluctant convert in all of England . . . drug into the kingdom kicking, struggling, resentful, and darting his eyes in every direction for a chance of escape.” I can’t think of a better way to describe my conversion too.

People often quote him out of context, which leaves the whole thing sounding somewhat horrific but here is the it is in context - “The Prodigal Son at least walked home on his own feet. But who can duly adore that Love which will open the high gates to a prodigal who is brought in kicking, struggling, resentful, and darting his eyes in every direction for a chance of escape?. I did not then see what is now the most shining and obvious thing; the Divine humility which will accept a convert even on such terms.”

The music

I wanted to write something that captured a darkness in the concept as well as the hunger and power. The song is built up of just drum, piano and vocals because I wanted to keep it raw. Originally I wanted it just to be built on vocals but it seemed to lose power so I brought the drum back in, which if you listen has a ticking sound, which I liked because it gave that sense of time moving constantly yet carrying a reminder of an end.

While I was recording and singing this, I would often imagine the figure of a hound pursuing a bedraggled, wretched form across the North Yorkshire Moors.