track 11 - the hubris of men
Part two of “The Hubris of Boys” these songs are the beginning and end of each other. I had received a couple of snippy, patronising comments on my YouTube channel. I traced them to men in their 50s or 60s who were doing the same kind of work I do, same quality and yet they seemed to feel the need to tell me I was failing at what I do or making nasty comments for no reason.
I just wonder if this opposite end of the hubris of boys is the hubris of men, where a different pride creeps in towards the end of their life. A grabbing desire to hang on and never let go to the life and power they feel slipping away. The part that saddened me was I used to have such respect for older men in their various tech fields. I wanted to learn from them because all I could see was all the wisdom and experience they had. Over time though, the constant rebuttal, rebukes and refusal to listen made me less and less interested in what they have to say and as I became a woman and not a young girl, I realised I was less and less interesting to them.
My favourite line is “you hate the woman the sweet girl becomes.”
This was initially written on the piano but when I came to the recording it just wouldn’t work on piano. Eventually I discovered the staccato strings replacing the piano notes worked and gave the song that slight comical, ironic feeling I was looking for. I love the last note - a sort of fed up sigh from the violin.